Sunday, May 27, 2012
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
From Scotland?
I was in an Irish pub on Saturday night. Had a few.
I noticed two large women by the bar.
They both had strong accents so I asked, "Hey, are you two ladies from Scotland ?"
One of them chirped: "It's WALES you friggin' idiot!"
So, I immediately apologized and said..., "Sorry, are you two whales from Scotland ?"
That's the last thing I remember!
I noticed two large women by the bar.
They both had strong accents so I asked, "Hey, are you two ladies from Scotland ?"
One of them chirped: "It's WALES you friggin' idiot!"
So, I immediately apologized and said..., "Sorry, are you two whales from Scotland ?"
That's the last thing I remember!
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Meet Winston
Sadly, we lost our senior German Shepherd three weeks ago. I came home from the barn and my husband met me at the door to tell me that Boris had lost the use of his rear legs. X-rays didn't reveal an apparent cause. He was nine years old, the age we seem to lose most of our dogs. We could have opted to have a surgeon look at him the following morning but recovery would have taken months and since we have a two-level home, he would have been forced to live in the basement where we're pretty sure he would have been miserable since we spend the majority of our time upstairs.
Bart did not handle being an only dog well. He's been off his feed and started peeing in the basement (which is now closed off to him) He and Winston have already played together a lot and it looks like they will be good buddies. We just have to make sure Bart doesn't get overly boisterous and hurt the little guy.
Things have started to click for me with my riding. When I showed up at the barn on Monday another woman was riding "my" mare. I hoped I'd get to ride her afterwards, but no, I was assigned the gelding who had his way with me the last time I rode him. Well, three or four months later I am a different passenger and was able to show him that I was the boss. I also had a different instructor for this lesson. My instructor threatened to turn me over to her sister permanently when she saw how well the gelding and I were doing, as in, "Why can't you ride that well for me?" I dunno, it just came together this time.
Winston is asleep with his rear legs stretched out behind him. Wish the camera was within reach as I'm sure he'll reposition himself if I move. Oh well, I'll get a photo of that pose another time.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
If You Hate the New Blogger
Ashley shares how to get the old Blogger interface back (it works - I did it)
Monday, April 23, 2012
MURDER AT Wal-Mart
Tired of constantly being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary and then arranging to have her killed.
A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.' Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $10,000.
The husband said he was willing to pay that amount but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes and reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.
A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Wal-Mart Supermarket. There, he surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.
However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras and observed by the shop's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the premises.
Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.
The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared...
(You're going to hate me for this...)
'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ Wal-Mart
Oh, quit groaning! I don't write this stuff. I receive it from my warped friends and then send it on to you.
A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.' Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $10,000.
The husband said he was willing to pay that amount but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes and reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.
A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Wal-Mart Supermarket. There, he surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.
However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras and observed by the shop's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the premises.
Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.
The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared...
(You're going to hate me for this...)
'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ Wal-Mart
Oh, quit groaning! I don't write this stuff. I receive it from my warped friends and then send it on to you.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
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