Fate Rears Its Ugly Head

I'm not quite sure where to start here. As far as riding goes, I had a couple of not so wonderful lessons but this past Monday's was "awesome" in my trainer's opinion. Wednesday I got my hair cut and colored - it had been since November so I was long overdue. Afterwards I went to a friend's who had surgery recently and visited with her.

When I got home my husband said my trainer had called. Oh boy! Maybe she needed help at the barn! So I called her right back, got her voice mail and left a message. She called a few minutes later to tell me her mother had died the day before.

This is where this entry gets kind of tricky. The owners of my barn are very private people so I don't want to offend them. On the other hand, I feel compelled to write a small memorial.

My barn is owned by a woman and her two daughters. The mother, "J", had a training accident some years back that left her a paraplegic. I was not aware of this so the first time I had a lesson with "Mom" I was taken by surprise. "J" was a force to be reckoned with. She had a dynamic personality and would not let me get away with anything. She was excellent at having me refine my riding skills and would push me to get it right. She always said how much she enjoyed her adult students because she could be more forthright with them and not have to be as tactful as with the young kids. Our lessons together involved a lot of back and forth bantering.

I was always happy to run errands for her and help out in any way I could. Don't get me wrong, there were many, many people involved in her life more than I was. However, I was looking forward to getting to know her better. I knew she was reading the book, The Eighty Dollar Champion which I finished a short time ago. I was anticipating talking about it with her and finding out if she'd ever attended a National Horse Show. She may actually have seen the horse this book was written about. Last summer I did a little gardening for her and was looking forward to doing it again this year. I had also volunteered to help out with a horse show that she chaired. Now none of these things will happen the way I thought they would.

It's hard to believe that I'll never hear her counting, "One, two, three" in an effort at getting me to dismount quickly. Or, "Yeah, yeah, yeah" when I whined that I couldn't do something.

Her passing is such a shock because it was totally unexpected. I am trying to help out but also feel like somewhat of an outsider compared to those who have known the family for years. I'll bumble along the best I can.

"J" I will miss you. Your death has left a hole in my heart.

Apple Does It Again

Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music. The iTit will cost from $499 to $699, depending on cup and speaker size. This is considered a major social breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

February 26 (I got nuthin for a title)

Babysit the kid yesterday. Brought along a horse DVD in the hopes of corrupting her since her mother is terrified of horses. No luck; she wanted to watch Elmo. I was told she could only have water or milk since she was experiencing diaper rash and they were afraid fruit juice might aggravate it. At one point I had the fridge door open and she latched onto some apple juice. I took it away, blaming grandma. I must have a cruel soul - her tears didn't bother me at all. Pretty soon we were back to chasing each other and shrieking at the top of our lungs. Good times.

I ordered a four tier free standing shelving unit for my locker at the stable. It is 25" wide and I found out the locker is only 24" (always measure after you place an order) Oh well, if I can't force it in there I can always use it at home. Unfortunately, this purchase apparently caused a Home Depot employee to attempt fraudulent use of my credit card as I received notice the following day that my credit card had been canceled and a replacement one issued. Now I'll have to memorize a new number, drat.

I was helping to move horses into the barn on Friday and had a slight mishap. I put a halter on one of the ponies and left the stall door open a bit when I went to retrieve my lead rope. He took the opportunity to kick his way out. Crap. Nothing like hearing, "Loose horse" throughout the barn. Fortunately he didn't get more than a few feet until someone caught him and I got the lead rope attached.

I got to ride the mare, who had pinned her ears back when I called out to her when I first got there - great. We had a pretty good lesson but not exceptional. I'm curious who I'll get to ride tomorrow. My cronies were excited to hear I'd ridden the gelding on Monday and wanted to know how it went. Others who've ridden him claim to have had the same steering issues as me.

Anchorage is supposedly due for another four to seven inches of snow. Guess I'll get my grocery shopping done before the storm starts.

The Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.' So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!' Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives Store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

This is Progress?

Last Friday's lesson was fabulous so I shouldn't have been shocked when I showed up at the barn yesterday and was told I would be riding a different horse. Ack! I've finally made enough progress to ride one of the more advanced lesson horses. Despite my whining and protests (I am nothing if not vocal) I agreed to have a lesson on this gelding. It was like riding an entirely different creature. I had a terrible time keeping him in a straight line and more than once we ended up going in a circle because I was giving the wrong cues. I basically just forgot everything - my heels were up, my hands were too high and I kept twisting and/or leaning my body. I was dripping with sweat and we never went beyond a walk. I have so much respect for the other ladies who I have seen ride him who don't seem to have these directional challenges. It didn't help that yesterday was a holiday so there were more people at the barn than usual to witness my performance; many of them youngsters who ride far better than I do and probably think I'm a idiot. Any perception that I might know more than them due to my advanced age was completely shattered. Actually that perception was probably wishful thinking on my part and they've known from day one that I am a newbie extraordinaire.

This horse demands total attention to detail. At one point I was distracted because it looked like the two barn cats were going to start fighting. The horse took this opportunity to meander off the track onto the quarter line. This is bad enough but my inability to get him back on the track was so frustrating. I tend to start using the reins when what he requires is correct leg and body cues. I am so grateful for patient trainers with positive feedback. I am both dreading and anticipating my next lesson to see if I'll be assigned him again or back to my usual mare who gives me the illusion that I know what I'm doing.

There was a barn show on Sunday and it was so much fun watching the competitions. A couple of the teens were jumping three foot fences. In fact, the horse I rode yesterday was ridden in some of the less advanced jumping classes. What a comedown for him to go from that to me. Have you ever seen resignation on a horse's face? That's the look he was giving me. Fortunately, I am the carrot queen so a lot is forgiven.

I discovered chai tea. Just what I need, another food craving.

So I Went

And it was okay. I chatted with one of the wives who really didn't know a lot of the people there and she mentioned how the room reminded her of a church basement. She hoped her memorial will be held in a prettier location. I told her of my desire to have my ashes exploded in a fireworks display. Whoever goes first will do their best to see that the other's wishes are upheld. My husband reassured me that he was well aware of my desire and promised to see it fulfilled if I die before him.

Apparently this man didn't have a will so his estate will be in probate. What a pain for his out of state relatives. The heat and electricity will have to remain turned on and someone pointed out that when the house finally can be sold, the fact that there was a suicide in it will have to be disclosed. No one knows why he decided to end his life.

We heard a thunk last night and assumed some snow had fallen off the roof. Later when my husband was letting the dogs out he looked around to see if he could locate what had caused the noise. We have a raised deck and you can see one side of the house from one end of it. There was a young moose curled up next to the house in what I can laughingly call one of my flower beds. We had never seen one laying so close to a dwelling and wondered if it was sick or injured. It was gone a couple of hours later so we're hoping it is okay. All the deep snow is hard on moose, especially the young ones.

Conflicted

A man that worked where I used to (too large an employer to really consider a co-worker) committed suicide the week before last. We were acquaintances and I always enjoyed talking to him and even went so far as to buy him something that reminded me of him once and bake him a birthday cake another time. He was a single guy, kind of quirky, and I admit other than asking about him when I met with friends, really didn't think about him. I still am very saddened at this news and hope he didn't die thinking no one cared about him.

There is going to be a memorial potluck for him this evening. I can't decide if I want to attend or not. I know some of the people who will be there and I'm sure there will be others I've never met. That's not really my problem. I just have a deep and abiding hate for potlucks. Why can't people get together without making a party out of it? Maybe I'll just bring a big old box of wine and we can all get drunk and reminisce.

This is supposedly an occasion to meet his sister and niece. Prior to his death the sister didn't know where he worked and was surprised to see how much he looked like their father. Obviously not a close-knit family. Should I participate in what might be considered a farce?

I know deep down I don't want to go so probably won't. We'll see. Guilt may yet inspire me; I find it's my greatest motivator. I always hoped that when I became an adult I wouldn't have to do stuff I didn't want to. How is it now, more than ever, I'm forced into unwanted situations?