Husband Down

A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart.
The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.
“What do you think you're doing?” asks the wife.
“They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans” he replies.
“Put them back, we can't afford them” demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping.
A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
“What do you think you're doing?” asks the husband.
“It’s my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,” replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: “So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price.”

He never knew what hit him.

Who's the toughest cowboy EVER?

Three cowboys were seated around the campfire out on the lonesome sagebrush prairie; it was a night of bravado, a night of tall tales.

Jim, the hand from Wyoming says, "I must be the strongest, meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral. It had gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground by the horns with my bare hands and castrated that sucker with my teeth."

Mike, from Idaho, couldn't stand to be bested. "That's nothing, I was walking down the trail yesterday and a 15 foot diamondback rattler slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that bad-boy with my bare hands, bit off its head, and sucked the poison down in one gulp and didn't even get a belly ache."

Old Gila River John, the cowboy from West Texas, remained silent, slowly stirring the campfire coals with his pecker...

Harlequin Novel, Updated.... 2011 Version

He grasped me firmly, but gently, just above my elbow and guided me into a room, his room. Then he quietly shut the door and we were alone. He approached me soundlessly, from behind, and spoke in a low, reassuring voice close to my ear,"Just relax."

Without warning, he reached down and I felt his strong, calloused hands start at my ankles, gently probing, and moving upward along my calves, slowly but steadily. My breath caught in my throat.

I knew I should be afraid, but somehow I didn't care. His touch was so experienced, so sure. When his hands moved up to my thighs, I gave a slight shudder, and partly closed my eyes. My pulse was pounding. I felt his knowing fingers caressed my abdomen, my ribcage. And then, as he cupped my breasts in his hands, I inhaled sharply.

Probing, searching, knowing what he wanted, he brought his hands to my shoulders, slid them down my tingling spine onto my quivering buttocks.

Although I knew nothing about this man, I felt oddly trusting and expectant. This is a man, I thought. A man used to taking charge. A man not used to taking 'No' for an answer. A man who would tell me what he wanted. A man who would look into my soul and say...

"Okay, ma'am, you can board your flight now."

I've Got To Stop Reading Craigslist

i need horse tack (wasilla/kgb)

Date: 2011-08-08, 3:41AM AKDT
Reply to: see below [Errors when replying to ads?]

I am a new owner of a yearlong filly and I need everything. So if you have cheap tack or free tack let me know please.

Email me or call or text.
*****
I am not an experienced horse person but from what I've seen around the barn, the yearling (yearlong?) doesn't require much in the way of tack - halter and lead rope. Is this person expecting to ride this yearlong? If they can't afford a halter, how do they expect to feed this horse? Maybe grass now, but winter's on the way. What about vet, farrier, etc.? My stomach hurts.

Dressage Show

The mare I ride is being shown this weekend by one of the other students. I am a terrible photographer. That said, here are a couple of pictures I took yesterday.

Another competitor who rides a Percheron cross was so happy to see a horse with a bigger neck. Also, I would crop out the rider for privacy reasons if I had a clue how to do that.

She got decent scores - in the 60's - and two blue ribbons. Okay, she was the only horse in her classes but she still did good. Oh, I guess her rider should get some of the credit too.

I got to meet her owner who leases her to the barn. I peppered her with questions.

I took some of my home grown carrots for after the show and the mare spit them out! She was happier munching on the weedy grass. I admit they looked more like orange nubbins than actual carrots, but still...

I'm going to go watch again today if it doesn't start pouring rain. Will probably leave the camera at home.

Tragedy

Just saw the news about the helicopter crash in Afghanistan. How devastating. My thoughts and prayers go out to their families and comrades in arms.

Another Craigslist Loser

Hello we want to sell are Chihuahua we wanted at first but are kids are still young and we are worried they will kill him he dose not have his papers yet that's why he's 500$ instead of 1000-1200$ we can get all info you need to get him papers if you like but we are just trying to get are money back for him befor the kids kill him he's good dog we have bowl and ect.

Soda Water Dogs

Hilarious video, especially if you're a German Shepherd Dog lover.

We made an offer on the over-priced home. It was rejected. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. It was a beautiful house but over-built for the neighborhood. I loved everything about it but the price. Dang it.