What's Good For The Goose

An e-mail with admitted poor taste but it does hammer home a point that needs to be made.

I am perplexed that so many of my friends are against a mosque being built near Ground Zero. I think it should be the goal of every American to be tolerant. The mosque should be allowed in an effort to promote tolerance.

That is why I also propose that two gay nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque thereby promoting tolerance within the mosque. We could call the clubs "The Turban Cowboy" and "You Mecca Me So Hot".

Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork and have an open barbeque with spare ribs as its daily special. Across the street a very daring lingerie store called "Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret” with sexy mannequins in the window modelling the goods.

Next door to the lingerie shop, there would be room for an Adult Toy Shop (Koranal Knowledge?), its name in flashing neon lights, and on the other side a liquor store, maybe call it "Morehammered"?

We Don't Care How They Do It Outside*

*Outside in this context means the Lower 48 states

I have been reading books about horse riding/maintenance, etc. (Donna, I've got two books by Mark Rashid on order- thanks for the suggestion) I think the one I'm currently reading must be written by someone from the east coast. It's a good book - don't get me wrong - but she comments on the importance of wearing the proper riding attire when approaching a new stable so that you will be taken seriously. She also calls rental horses "hacks." I always thought a hack was an inferior horse but it apparently means a horse available for non-owners to ride, i.e. lesson horses. My previous misinterpretation of the word causes it to jar me a little every time I read it and she uses the word a lot. Anyway, both the stables I've ridden at here in Alaska have been very easy going about my choice of clothing. Wearing a helmut is the only "must." As I've mentioned before, I'm overweight so wear jeans with an elastic waistband. I'm still reeling at the thought of wearing riding tights. I also originally thought I'd be riding Western so have a very nice pair of Luchesse cowboy boots that I bought in June. Both barns have indicated that the style of boots is unimportant, just so they have a heel so my foot won't slip through the stirrup. Now I admit I'm jonsing for a pair of paddock boots and some half chaps but they will just have to wait.

My computer just deleted a long paragraph I had written and I'm not in the mood to recreate it. My point is that even the supposed "snobby" English only riding stable staff and boarders have been friendly and helpful. It may be because Alaska is so far from mainstream equestrian events that the few horse people up here stick together. Whatever the reason, it sure makes the experience nice for a newby like me.

Where Does the Time Go?

Here we are in September already. My bruises are gone from my last fiasco and the whole incident has been put behind me. I've had four or five lessons since then without incident. One of the ladies at the stable gave me a video called, "The Rider's Workout" by Cheryl Schuhmann. I haven't had a chance to watch it yet. My brother was visiting and just left Monday. He is a reader like me so we visited a couple of book stores. I found some great reference books; one is called "The Horseless Rider" which is for people like me who want to ride but not necessarily own a horse. I also bought "The Idiot's Guide to Horseback Riding." I went to the tack store earlier this week and bought my own curry comb, brush and hoof pick. Like my friend said, it's not that we really need them since the barn has these supplies - it's just fun to have an excuse to buy something horse related. I doubt that the mare I ride will be impressed but the barn cats should like the fact that I now will be carrying treats for them in my carrier. I used to forget them in the car and be too lazy to go get them.

I'd like to make the observation here how great it is to meet people who are as goofy about horses as I am. Who knew there were so many grown women (haven't met any men) who are as juvenile in their feelings about equines as me. We're like a bunch of little kids who are thrilled to be allowed to hang around a stable. Hope the lovin' continues.

Someday I'll Look Back and Laugh

At least I fervently hope so. Yesterday was all about embarrassment for me. I got my horse tacked up and walked out to the arena. After leading her around a few times I got ready to mount. The instructor asked me if my cinch was tight enough and I assured her it was.

I have always had a horrible time mounting. The instructor will stand on the opposite side and hold onto the saddle to counter my weight. My legs don't want to support me and it invariably takes me at least two attempts to get astride. My right foot almost always bumps the horse's rump on the way up and again when I dismount.

So, this is my big moment to get on the horse without assistance. I put my left foot in the stirrup, start to heave myself up (there really is no better way to describe it) and the saddle slipped sideways. My foot caught in the stirrup for a second before I fell backwards hitting the mounting block before the arena floor where my head smacked onto the ground (thank goodness for helmets) Bless my horse for the rock solid mount she is. She just took a couple of steps forward and then stopped. As they say, the worst thing hurt was my pride. Needless to say the instructor once again had to assist me to mount.

I asked her for some suggestions to help strengthen my legs. She told me to hop on one foot for about five hops, then the other foot and gradually increase the number of hops. She said she would rather I only manage a couple without assistance than twenty holding onto something. Imagine my humiliation when I got home and discovered that I can't do this simple exercise. I can't hop on one foot! I played hopscotch as a kid. Where did that ability go?

One positive thing is that I am really motivated to lose some of my excess weight. I was hoping that taking up riding would do it for me but I'm obviously going to have to get in some other daily exercises. Wish me luck and if anyone knows good leg strengthening exercises I would love to hear them.

August Update

Screw you, Dell, I'm getting a Mac. My husband is downright giddy at this development and has literally spent hours compiling information, programs and I don't know what-all that he will put into this new (used) computer when it arrives.

My first word processing experience was with a machine by CPT. It was like magic. Up until then a memory Selectric typewriter was the most advanced device I had access to. I loved my CPT and even bought a used one for home, although we never got it up and running because personal computers had arrived. My boss had Macs installed at work so that's what we got for our home computer also. I attended several classes and was somewhat of a power user. Then the powers that be at City Hall decided the city would only use Microsoft computers. Oh, the hair pulling and hate this caused those of us who had to switch. But, as with all things, we adapted with time and I eventually got a Dell for my laptop at home. My husband stuck with Macs and now I'm going back to one. I know I'll like it better once I reacquaint myself with it.

So, on the horseback riding front I've ridden twice at my new stable. I've arranged for twice weekly lessons and really like my new instructor. She is making me ride totally without stirrups to get a really good seat. I'd done that sporadically at my old barn. Man, keeping the horse in line when trotting is a challenge for me. I did do better yesterday than last week so things are slowly coming together. Thankfully my chafe marks will have a few days to heal before I ride again. I really need to work on leg strength also. I had to let out the stirrup in order to be able to reach it to mount from a three step block yesterday. Even then it took me a couple of attempts to hoist my fat ass in the saddle. Thank goodness the horse is part draft and dead broke. I keep apologizing to her and thanking her for her patience with me. I do wonder if the chafeing isn't somewhat caused by her wider girth. I never had this issue with the thoroughbred/quarter horse cross I used to ride.

Grrr

My Dell is still infected so I'm using my HP netbook. I installed McAfee on July 3 after using AVG Free for years. McAfee obviously did not catch this malware and now wants almost $90.00 for a one-time fix. I think I'll just get a Mac instead. Windows has too many kinks. Can hardly wait for the gloating from my husband who is a die-hard Mac addict.

Computer Blues

My laptop has been infected with a virus that prohibits me from accessing blogger.com. I can't even leave comments on other's blogger accounts. I believe its a "redirect virus." Any ideas on how to eradicate it will be greatly appreciated. So far there's been no response from Google (who "owns" Gmail and blogger)

Meanwhile, I took a six hour riding clinic last Saturday that left me somewhat battered and bruised. I don't know how cowboys can ride all day long. My lady bits felt hammered so either I have an incorrect seat or they need to toughen up. I had my last lesson at my old stable on Tuesday and will have my first one at the new barn next Monday.

There is an air show this weekend. Sadly, one of the planes practicing for the event crashed Wednesday evening and all four aboard were killed. Apparently the show will still go on; I have mixed feelings.

I'm still reading blogs - just have been forced to keep my opinions to myself. Stop applauding.